Archive for June, 2009

If this is a show car, where are the import hoochies?

Thursday, June 11th, 2009

Porky’s Totally Awesome Weekend continued this past Sunday as we entered our first event in the , the Concours d’Elegance.  More like the Concours d’Ignorance if they let us in, am I right?  *canned laughter*

Our trusty steed looked pretty good out there, all washed up…  um.  All cleaned up, proudly displaying the “We Got Screwed” trophy from Altamont ‘08 and my lovingly handcrafted (while somewhat drunk at 1am the Friday before the show) brag board with photos of the build and racing action…

We had a good time chatting with people about the car and were pleasantly surprised to see that some people had actually heard of not only Lemons, but the Porcubimmer as well.  In fact, one of the SDGC entrants was also building a 325e for Lemons, which they had on display.  Their theme is they are taking donations to write the graffiti of your choice on the car, and in return they are turning the donations over to breast cancer research.  Now, we at Team Porcubimmer love boobies, so we had to toss them a couple bucks…

…and, uh, mark our territory, as it were.  They were good sports about it.

We also participated in some karting, since the event was held at Miramar Speed Circuit.  I’ve conveniently “lost” my timeslips.  Hmm.

For showing up at the TV studio on Sunday, Scott was invited to spin the Wheel Oh SNAP (SNAP = Several Negligibly Advantageous Prizes)…

…where we won “the Twins.”  In all SDGC competition events, the single best time from the two fastest drivers is combined for an aggregate total, regardless of whether one driver had the two best times from the event.  The Twins let you take the two fastest times at an event, regardless of whether they were set by the same person or not.  Considering Scott’s pretty much our conedodging ringer, this might actually be helpful!

We passed the SDGC equivalent of BS judging with $100 to spare, which actually kinda surprised us since the SDGC does not consider safety equipment “exempt,” since this is not a wheel to wheel series like Lemons and does not require a cage, harness, etc.  But since the car was built for Lemons, they decided to take pity on us since they realized we’re all completely insane and slightly retarded.

With BS judging complete, it was time to reveal the final Concours scores, which count towards the season point total.  They started reading the results from the bottom up…  and we were amazed when we finally heard our name called:  tied for 2nd, 7 out of 10 possible points!  I guess the “Fit and Finish” category did us in.  The kicker came when the organizers handed out some special awards…  and we won the Judges Choice trophy!

That’s right!  Best in show.  Hail to the Pricks, baby.

The first competition event is June 27 at the dragstrip at Barona.  I’m now taking bets on how fast slow we’ll run.  Come on out and cheer us on, as Scott impersonates John Force (again) and does gigantic rolling burnouts down the length of the 1/8mi!


We on da tee-vee!

Saturday, June 6th, 2009

As mentioned below, we have entered the Porcubimmer into the San Diego Grand Challenge. This morning, the event organizer arranged to have a few of the race cars at the KUSI TV studio to do a promotional spot for the SDGC and invite people to come to the judged show portion of the event tomorrow. Only two teams showed up, and our car got the limelight due to its obviously ridiculous… err awesome appearance.

The reporter asked me to do a burnout, so I happily obliged. I am trying to find a way to upload the whole segment from my DVR, but for now, here’s a video of the burnout taken by me pointing my camera at the TV. Ghetto, I know, but what do you expect from this team?


Polishing the turd

Monday, June 1st, 2009

With the kicking off next weekend and LeMons Buttonwillow fast approaching, Scott, Vince, and myself met in Mexico at Scott’s folks’ house to do a little work on ol’ Porky and our new unofficial support vehicle.

The first order of business was getting a trailer hitch assembly attached to Scott’s girlfriend’s (sister’s brother’s roomate’s…wait) new Highlander Hybrid so we can drag the BMW around San Diego for Grand Challenge events and such.  Also, this allows us to feel smug about towing our hydrocarbon spewing race car with a clean running hybrid.  Team Porcubimmer cares about the environment.  *snicker*

With that done, we immediately repaired to the nearest taco shop for burritos.  So much for offsetting our carbon footprint.

Upon returning to the garage, Scott started working on our movable aerodynamic device, Vince worked on welding up a crack in the front bumper mount, and I changed out the spark plugs and repaired some accessory wiring under the hood.  While this was going on, Scott’s mom was working on touching up the paint on the quills and mouth.

Once that was done, I took a moment to fire up the engine to make sure that I can actually do something as simple as change spark plugs correctly without screwing it all up, and was pleasantly surprised that she fired right up… once I was reminded by Scott that turning the starter without the ignition on doesn’t really work.  Shut up.  Anyway, it sounded more glorious than ever thanks to the valve adjustment Scott made the other week.

After that Vince had to go (something about having a wife and kid and responsibility and all that) so he showed us how to use his fancy new electric shears, and I promptly set to work doing what I do best:  breaking shit.

OK, I let Scott get in on the fun, too.

So after a little bit of Stage 403.9 weight reduction…

We had two nicely (more or less) gutted rear doors.  We were going to do the front ones too but apparently it was getting late and we still had to finish our highly intensive detailing for the SDGC Concourse judging next Sunday, so those will have to wait for another day.  Instead we busted out all of the Griots’ products we could find and the diapers and the ShamWOW and… oh who am I kidding, we made a token effort to cover the sensitive bits of the interior, turned on the hose, filled a bucket with soap, and splashed water all over the car.

Only the finest products and the most skilled detailers are allowed to grace the Porcubimmer with their touch…  oh who am I kidding, I think I squeezed the sponge out once.  After cleaning the rubber off the rear decklid and bumper.

So now we’re ready for the Concourse judging!  If you’ve got nothing better to do (and I know you don’t), come out and say hi to us!

Sunday, June 7, 1 PM - 4 PM

Miramar Speed Circuit
8123 Miralani Dr
San Diego, CA 92126

See ya there!